Putting the Pieces Together

Shit I try to remember. The Truman Show producer for me may be someone either I knew back in Highschool, or somebody that someone from the previous game has known back in highschool. Also, back when I had chickenpox as a child. Really bad fever. Hallucinations. That was around the same time when at church, I remember seeing these 3 Latino teenagers walking into the church when I was outside by the fountains. I was just out there by myself playing with the water, maybe 4th grade. Those teenagers, probably middle school or early high school walk in talking tough. A few minutes later, this grown white man, probably in his 40s runs out talking about that was a close one. After that, the church ends the Sunday school classes. I never had a fever with hallucinations that bad again either. Also reminded me of some of the Sunday school teachers, telling me about how if I don't speak, I might notice things happening around me that i wouldn't notice if I was leading the class all the time. 

Just a couple more pieces of the puzzle. That big white guy that ran out reminded me of the guy that came to my apartments when I was very young threatening to kill the son if their orders were not followed. I had peaked around the corner and saw them. The son was probably me. The hallucinations I had when I was having those chickenpox, as well as the types of dreams I was having around that time, as well as the fever I had when I got back and the type of dreams I had at those times. Then all that shit going away after that guy ran out of the building. Putting that together with the things I know now. Just noticing that these type of men have been around my entire life, just popping out at random times, but when I look back at what was going on at those times or what I was overhear, it wasn't that random. Just another sign that I have been getting manipulated since I was still a young child. Makes me think of what I was told at that one psychiatric ward I was taken to against my will when I had been captured once. They already lost the war. Now they had two buildings, and one building is doing one thing and the other building was doing something else but they supposedly had no idea what was going on in the other building. It reminds me of what was said at those ancient caves that we had protected for generations, but they had recently been destroyed by a mining firm. They already lost the war too. They had told me how some nice people were sent over the first time and they had built a good relationship with those people based on trust, but the next time, some people wearing the same uniforms and looking the same came over and they had lied to them. Those were the ones that had destroyed the ancient caves. It also reminds me of some other story I heard, where church missionaries were sent and they were allowed and accepted because of what they represented. But then soldiers came and used their chapel as a lookout point, from which they were able to follow back some of the samurai and destroy the place they would meditate at. 

Just a lot of stories. Hard to think about everything at once with my tiny brain, but I am trying to put all these different pieces together the right way. Very difficult. Very big puzzle with a lot of different pieces. Let me write this down so I don't forget.

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